Feelings Update: Still jobless and still not independent (Sigo sin trabajo y sin ser independiente)

Sé que hace días que no escribo nada nuevo por aquí. Así que aquí les va la actualización.

He vuelto al tratamiento psiquiátrico. Y ya no quiero irme (si sabes a qué me refiero). En diciembre conocí nueva gente. Me he puesto la meta de conocer más gente, de salir más, de probar nueva comidas y bebidas. De disfrutar más la vida. De vivir mi vida. Sólo tengo una y más vale que cuente.

Esta gente que conocí está llena de vitalidad, positivismo y mucho carisma. Espero poder desarrollar una nueva (y duradera) amistad con ellos. Paradójicamente los conocí yendo a mis citas psiquiátricas.

Con respecto a conseguir trabajo siguen los mismos requisitos y así no quepo en ninguna empresa, creo que mi destino es la docencia. Siempre quise dar clases, pero mi sueño era convertirme en pedagoga allá como a mis 40 años después de haber adquirido experiencia en alguna rama de la ingeniería industrial.

Tampoco estaba en mis planes que se me desarrollara la fibromialgia y que me limitara en muchas cosas. Así como nunca imaginé que al graduarme no tendría empleo, siendo ya una profesional universitaria. En la universidad me hicieron un buen lavado de cerebro al hacerme creer que sería la “última gota de agua en el desierto”, pero no lo soy. Definitivamente no lo soy.

He aprendido cosas en el camino, muchas cosas. Pero en Honduras es complicado obtener trabajo como novata. No quisiera hacer esta entrada como una queja al sistema hondureño. Realmente quiero que llegue el día en el que sea independiente y pueda disfrutar más mi tiempo. Salir a comer y pagar yo la cuenta. Invitar y no quedarme corta en el “balance de la chequera”.

Espero en Dios que esta situación cambie pronto y Él me ponga en un lugar dónde pueda desarrollarme y también pueda aportar en la resolución de problemas. ¡Dios apúrate!

XOXO

Warrior Princess

FEELINGS: GETTING A JOB, GETTING INDEPENDENCE

Yesterday (Wednesday 4/11/15) I got a phone call from Grupo Levanter about a position as a Personal Interpreter… I’m a university graduated, so that meant that I was supposed to be working as an industrial engineering in any area of my career. But since we are in Honduras, that’d be too much to ask for.

I speak English, that’s one my many skills, and, and, not the way I dreamt it, but I’d like to make money out of something I like. In my previous post I wrote that I dreamed once of being a interpreter at the UN. Maybe this might be the star of something. I know I need to practice more and improve my English, since the interpretation at the UN is simultaneous, that means some president or ambassador speaks and the interpreter translates at the same time. I haven’t reached there yet.

I liked being a teacher at a university, I taught things I know and love: Hygiene and Industrial Safety and English. I don’t like that much an office schedule, don’t like not being allow to be creative, have initiative, and not having a voice of opinion. I was free to give the class as I thought it should be held, I wasn’t give any structure, I didn’t even have a book which the students and I could follow and based the class on.

In the phone interview I was told about the two job schedule they have for full time job, one is from 9am to 7pm, the other is from 8am to 5:30pm, I chose the second one. In this force vacations I’ve been hitting bed really early in the morning, so that means I wake up way past noon. I have to reprogram myself in order to fit the job schedule. The good thing it’d be that I wouldn’t work on the weekends.

I have to get this opportunity, my mind and emotions can’t handle anymore to be an unemployed. I feel like that I’m being wasted and I waste all that I have and been given. It’s time to be the grown up I turned since I left my teens years. It is frightening to be an adult, to be independent, to have responsibilities, but I want them, I know I can (learn to) handle them, to be comfortable with them and I definitely will hate them sometimes, but it’s part of life…

I’ve been yelling that I want to be independent since many years ago and seems like I haven’t been so push forward to go and get it. It’s time, it’s about time, the time is now. I will have hits and defeats, and I have to not to allow that confuse my mind and emotions. The hits lift your ego (mine) and the defeats put you down (in my case really down). I’m a bipolar and a depressive woman, I tend to stay in the depressive mood for too much.

Can’t keep on living like that. Can’t afford it anymore!! The world it not that gray, and I know it’s that pink either. It has a rainbow of shades that I have to learn to manage and most importantly I have to enjoy the joy of being alive and breathing and thinking and dreaming. I’m a dreamer that now has to be a maker. Have to make my dreams and plans come true.

Yeap! I feel better already. I have lift up my mood. I’m content.

Until the next post!

- Warrior Princess.