SOMETIMES I WISH I HAD A DIARY…

There’s supposed to be joy in my heart, but there’s not, there’s fear instead. Like Shakira says: «Es normal que le temas a lo que no conoces». I’m about to enter the all-grown-up world, and I’m freaking out. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve got not enough knowledge, nor preparation, nor skills to deal with the new phase in my life. I don’t believe in myself, I don’t feel confident. I wanna run away. My mom believes in me, my friends do as well, but not myself. I’d like to cry, if that could help a little bit. I must be strong.

It’s not the same to wow a professor than a boss. I’m freaked out. God help me in here! I need you!

I must stop chasing castles in the air and finally land my feet on the ground. I could still blame my teachers for my lack of knowledge, preparation or skills, but they’re not alone, I did some neglecting too. I never asked for help or did something about it. So I’ll walk one step at the time. I must not rush to seek what’s not coming yet.

So, I must trust that I’ll find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Gotta have some faith on myself, and in God mostly, he’s the one that have all the answers and knows what’s best for me. When I look the old pictures (and the “new” ones) they bring me good memories, must of them I have forgotten, and other I still remember. Wow, the time has bought itself a lifetime seat on a Concorde airplane; it goes so fast. «Time passes by when you’re planning you life». A picture can freeze time on a specific point, but we must not.

This started 5 years ago, actually started 22 years ago. Someday I had to become an engineer (if that what’s I was meant to be). Someday I had to leave college behind. Someday I hat to. Friends, thanks for being there when I needed you the most or when I wanted to share something not that big of a deal. Thanks for being there walking this path with me. Thanks to my teacher for sharing something, don’t know what, but thanks. This has been very interesting, educative, hilarious, entertaining, funny and other things too. I’ve learned so much of everything and nothing as well. 

And last but not least, to my parents. They started this, 22 years ago and never left. Thank you. Sorry for being sometimes a pain in the ass. Love ya. Love y’all.